Previouslies! Jenna’s not good enough for Matty. When hanging out with Colin’s friends, Matty isn’t good enough for Jenna. Jenna asks Matty why he’s with her. Womp womp. Apparently we’re doing this AGAIN.
Jenna and Matty just hit the six month mark and Jenna’s feeling complacent, even though Matty is surrounded by groupies from the dance 24/7. Tamara isn’t so relaxed about it, stating, “Those are rabid fangirls waiting for you to slip and crack your head.” Also, that they’re “fifty shades of cray.” Lol, T. Jenna’s still unconcerned about the giant group of girls, while Tamara catches Jake’s one fan and asserts that she will both cut a bitch and pee on Jake to mark her territory if necessary.
Writing Teacher Hart is upset with the class because they don’t trust themselves in their writing, making it dull. Dude, I feel you. I helped with my high school literary magazine and if I read one more generic angst-drenched love poem I thought I’d die. ANYWAY. Sadie calls Jenna out on playing it safe. Jenna finally looks alive and talks back to both Sadie and Hart. Jenna falls directly into Hart’s trap, as he baits her into reading at Bean There Done That. If she doesn’t follow through, fifty percent of her final grade will be a zero. Ouch.
Jenna’s overdramatically complaining to Val, calling Hart a “brilliant and cunning sociopath.” JENNA. Be happy that your teacher is actively trying to help you learn something. Val challenges Jenna’s assessment and points her in the direction of her blog for reading material.
Matty wants to be supportive of Jenna’s reading, but she bans him, Tamara, and Jake from the event. Matty covers his discomfort by claiming he and Jake will be having a dudes only Bro-B-Q. Tamara is confused and asks, “Since when did Matty starting using my lexicon?” Jenna explains he’s trying to hide his codependence. After Jenna decides to read the August 26th blog entry and bans Tamara from the reading again, Tamara approaches Ma Lacey in the hopes of having plans for the night, suggesting that Ma Lacey make her pizza. Ha!
At the Bro-B-Q, Matty and Jake are snapping at one another. Jake wants Matty to quit bitching and stop being so obsessed with Jenna, while Matty wants Jake to stop being so whipped. They make a bet—the first to mention their girlfriend or touch their cell phone owes the other $50.
Jenna’s freaking out at the obnoxiously named coffee place, but comforts herself with the untrue idea that she doesn’t know anyone in the audience. Jenna’s parents, Colin, and Val are all present, so now Jenna wants the currently cell phone-less Matty there. Val stalls for Jenna by reciting TLC reference-laden poetry, winning every award ever. Is it that easy to buy my affection with references to girl group TLC? YES. Jenna gets it together and begins, “My name is Jenna and this is the story of how I lost my virginity. It’s called ‘Rubbed, Raw, and Reeling’.” Sadie calls out, “We can see how rubbed raw you are—close your legs.” Listen, as embarrassing as this was, wouldn’t you rather you knew you were giving the audience a show? Sadie’s helpful in her own way. Jenna’s confidence picks up speed as she makes the audience laugh.
Meanwhile, Matty and Jake are depressing me with how much they don’t have to talk about without being allowed to discuss their significant others. They were friends before Jenna and Tamara, damn it! They’re daring each other to each and drink disgusting and/or painful things. Boys, what happened to the slammin’ dance lessons of last week? I miss those times. Those were good times.
Jenna made an impression with her reading—she’s been asked to be a site contributor for some hipster chick and Hart has given her his stamp of approval. Jenna and Colin start talking about why he’s there-namely to check out his competition and scope out what might be in store for him. He hits on her by comparing her to Jane Austen. Shut up, Colin.
Jake’s shaving his legs as part of the latest dare, causing Matty to lose the bet by taking a picture with his phone. Matty sees the missed call from Jenna, discovering that she wanted him there. He sends her the Jake picture and calls back to no response…
….because Jenna’s too busy making time for Colin. Angelique calls him, and he grips Jenna’s arm while he talks to her, which I don’t understand at all. Seems vaguely threatening. Jenna’s realizing that she’s jealous of Angelique and may be interested in Colin romantically. Ick. Gross. I’ve yet to see anything likeable about this kid. Colin gets off the phone with his girlfriend, explaining that his lack of jealousy probably means he’s “over it” with Angelique. Considering this and his overt interest in Jenna, he should probably break up with his girlfriend and stop being such a scumbag. His current behavior is making him even more unattractive to me as a character.
Ma Lacey is waiting up for Jenna when she gets home to tell her how proud she was of her for reading. She wishes it could have been another story so Jenna’s dad could have stayed, but proud all the same. After inquiring about Colin, Ma Lacey reminds Jenna that she and Matty are still dating, making Jenna slightly uncomfortable.
At the close of the episode, Matty knocks on Jenna’s door, which a fully awake Jenna ignores.
- Matty and Jake have officially become sad. Dudes. You had lives and friendships (with each other!) before your respective girlfriends were in the picture. ACT LIKE IT!
- Are we supposed to be liking Colin more as time goes on? Because I think the opposite is happening for me. His intensity is more creepy rather than thoughtful and deep. Dude is kind of a scumbag.
Next week—looks like Jenna’s entertaining her (icky) Colin fantasties—and Sadie wants Matty to know about it.