William Shakespeare was undoubtably the original master of artfully creating an insult, having produced some of the most outrageous slights in the history of English literature. Whether it was a snide remark, a quick biting comment, or a prolonged defamation, Shakespeare could form the most creative (and even beautiful) poetic verse out of extremely malign sentiments. Although it is nearly impossible to select only a few insults out of the thousands he created, here are fifteen of my personal favorite Shakespearean slights in no particular order.
1) “I do desire we may be better strangers.
~ Orlando from “As You Like It” (3.2.235)
2) “More of your conversation would infect my brain.”
~ Menenius from “The Tragedy of Coriolanus” (2.1.83)
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3) “This sanguine coward, this bed-presser, this horseback-breaker, this huge hill of flesh!”
~ Prince Harry from “1 Heny IV” (2.5.223-5)
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4) “Thou lump of foul deformity!”
~ Lady Anne from “Richard III” (1.2.57)
5) “I shall cut out your tongue.”
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“’Tis no matter, I shall speak as much wit as thou aferwords.”
~Ajax and Thersites from “Troilus and Cressida” (2.1.105-7)
6) “Heaven truly knows that thou art false as hell.”
~Othello from “Othello” (4.2.41)
7) “Some report a sea-maid spawned him, some that he was begot between two stockfishes. But it is certain that when he makes water his urine is congealed ice.”
~ Lucio from “Measure for Measure” (3.1.353-5)
8) “A knave, a rascal, an eater of broken meats, a base, proud, shallow, beggarly, three-suited, hundred-pound, filthy, worsted-stocking knave; a lily-livered, action-taking, whoreson, glass-gazing, super-serviceable, finical rogue; one-trunk-inheriting slave; one that wouldst be a bawd in way of good service, and art nothing but the composition of a knave, beggar, coward, pandar, and the son and heir of a mongrel bitch, one whom I will beat into clamorous whining if thou deniest the least syllable of thy addition. ”
~Kent from “The Tragedy of King Lear” (2.2.13-21)
9) “He has not so much brain as ear-wax.”
~ Thersites from “Troilus and Cressida” (5.1.46-7)
10) “Away, you cutpurse rascal, you filthy bung, away! By this wine, I’ll thrust my knife in your mouldy chaps, an you play the saucy cuttle with me! Away, you bottle-ale rascal, you basket-hilt stale juggler, you!”
~Doll Tearsheet from 2 Henry IV (2.4.107-10)
11) “What, you egg! Young fry of treachery!”
~A Murderer from Macbeth (4.2.85-6)
12) “I’ll pray a thousand prayers for thy death.”
~ Isabella from “Measure for Measure” (3.1.147)
13) “You had measured how long a fool you were upon the ground.”
~Second Lord from “Cymbeline, King of Britain” (1.2.20-1)
14) “[Thou] mad mustachio purple-hued malt-worms!”
~Gadshill from Henry IV, Part I (2.1.70-1)
15) “Your face is as a book where men may read strange matters.”
~Lady Macbeth from “Macbeth” (1.5.60-1)
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