Entangled by Amy Rose Capetta

Seventeen-year-old Cade is a fierce survivor, solo in the universe with her cherry-red guitar. Or so she thought. Her world shakes apart when a hologram named Mr. Niven tells her she was created in a lab in the year 3112, then entangled at a subatomic level with a boy named Xan. 
   Cade’s quest to locate Xan joins her with an array of outlaws—her first friends—on a galaxy-spanning adventure. And once Cade discovers the wild joy of real connection, there’s no turning back.

It took me three weeks to read this book.

Three. Weeks.

I spent a greater time of my September reading this. One perfectly good month, spent up on a book I’d like to completely forget about, erase from my memory. Poof, take it away.

Of course, in greater respect, some books take three weeks. A Song of Fire and Thorns, that might take three weeks. The collection of Earnest Hemingway’s finest four works I still haven’t gotten around to finishing might take three weeks in total. But let me tell you a secret or two: I read Gone with the Wind in less than seven days. While this may be nothing short of the norm for avid readers, I still like to think less than a week on a book that big is quite an accomplishment.

Another thing? Entangled has to be the shortest arc I’ve received since May.

I almost didn’t even finish it, which also a pretty big deal because, for one, I can only think of one book I’ve never finished and that’s Tampa by Alyssa Nutting. That had to do with me keeping my sanity more than anything. I couldn’t read it, let alone think of writing it, it was so provokingly disturbing. I have to give it to Alyssa, though, because boy did she do a job well of traumatizing me past the point of no return, and I only made it to page fifty. ANYWAYS, the fact that I thought of setting this one aside on account of hating it so bad says a lot. And here’s where I get really honest.

Did I skip a few pages? Well, yes.

Three weeks means Stephanie-is-too-fed-up-to-care and once I reach this point I’m mainly focusing on dialogue alone. After I reached the two week mark I realized I’d hit that point and it all went downhill from there. That summary on the back flap isn’t a lie, but wow, is that summary a hell of a lot better than those three hundred-some pages.  The idea is fun; aliens, space, guitars,romance, entanglement. Ooh, shiny words, yes I want to play. No, no you don’t.  Most of the novel is spent trapped on a spaceship full of crazy, unstable beings. The writer had a bit too much fun with coming up with new words to suit the environment. One of those words being “spacesick”. Can I just say I didn’t even get what this term meant half the novel? Is it like being seasick? Yes? Kind of? It’s more like some sick obsession with space that turns you into a zombie? Hi, yes, explain to me HOW THIS MAKES ANY SENSE AT ALL.

Being completely truthful, I’ve been dancing around what I’ve really wanted to say so I’m just going to come out and say it because just writing up this review is pissing me off: Entangled is this horrible cop out wannabe version of Star Wars.

Oh, right, there was science too. Heavens, the science. According to Entangled, people who are, ahem, entangled have the key to a new society and oh yes blah blah blah.  Just like that. Blah blah blah. How do two people connected at birth have the key to a new society? I don’t think Amy knows because she didn’t bring the science of any of that into things. Just a lot of mind mojo and sparkly guitars.  And the music? What the hell was up with that. Cade’s guitar was the weirdest side story I’ve come across. Apparently she can send music to someone else’s brain? What is this? Why is this?

WHY IS EVERYTHING IN THIS BOOK SO DAMN CONFUSING THAT I CANT EVEN PROOFREAD THIS REVIEW WITHOUT WONDERING WHAT THE HELL I’M TALKING ABOUT?

While we’re at it you guys should totally give me book reviews in the comments because it gets tiring finding only bad things to say about novels.

So, let’s see, how can I get technical about Entangled. Um, There is no character development. Writing is sketchy in the worst sense. Plot was sleeping with everyone and their mother; or in other words, sloppy. Romance was also awkward and nonsensical.  There is someone named Gori so I guess one point for Entangled because wow Gori that’s a weird name it sounds like SOMETHING SOMEONE GOT OUT OF STAR WARS. As you can tell, these three weeks have gone to my head. I’m sorry and hopefully next week I’ll be cleared of this spacesick. See what I did there? HAHA.

Rating: 3/10

*Thanks to Amy for the arc*