TV Review: Pretty Little Liars 5×09 “March of Crimes”

Spencer was the real MVP of this week’s episode of PLL for many reasons that we’ll go over. She also has the best line of the episode.

The runner-up was:

Anyway, let’s get on with this week’s review.

Everyone is still upset about Alison using Noel dressed as “A” to scare Mrs. Marin.

As Emily is on her way home she sees Noel in his car listening to a recording of the testimony Alison gave to the police about her “kidnapping.”  Noel has always been a mystery. He’s been a character that’s been there since season one and he’s popped in and out randomly, connected with different characters. It’s season five and I’m still not sure how he fits into this whole story. So, I’m hoping to get more answers.

The next day back at school, Tanner, “the frizz-top cop” is at school grilling Aria with questions about Ezra and Shana. Jenna’s back at Rosewood High, too. Alison is extremely jumpy at this point.  We see a moment where Alison asks Jenna how she was able to turn Shana against her when she knew her much before Jenna did. We can see that Jenna’s answer leaves Alison thinking.

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She may still be conniving, manipulative and untrustworthy, but one thing is for sure—Alison is truly out of the loop on who’s after her and it’s terrifying for her to not be in control. She however is right about one thing: the group is falling apart as hate, distrust and grudges grow between them.

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Meanwhile, poor Spencer’s eye is still in pain from the splinter that got in when they were locked in at the horse stables. She has an appointment with the eye doctor but before going there she stops by Caleb’s cabin. This was one of my favorite parts of this week’s episode because we see Spencer be such a good friend not only to Hannah, but to Caleb as well. She gives him a talk about how he’s affecting Hannah’s behavior greatly—it’s obvious she hasn’t been drinking alone. She basically tells Caleb everything that every Haleb lover has been thinking these past few weeks. My favorite line: “I always thought you were the best thing to happen to Hannah.” Get it together Caleb – your girl Han needs you! Even though he played it off, it was obvious that Spencer’s words got to Caleb enough to hopefully bring about a change. Spencer also almost slipped by mentioning what happened with Zack; thankfully she was able to salvage the moment but still left Caleb thinking.

While she’s getting her pupils dilated at the eye doctor’s office, Spencer is seeing double. But it’s no illusion! It’s Jenna and Sydney at the eye doctor. Dressed exactly the same, including the big dark shades. Spencer calls Emily over to come to the doctor’s office to see. Emily heads over after she’s broken into Noel’s car and found pictures of Alison that prove she wasn’t kidnapped, as well as her recorded testimony to the police. What the heck is Noel up to?

While Emily is on her way, Spencer realizes she’s not alone at the doctor’s office.

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“A” makes its appearance known leaving her a note in the eye charts. You would think that by season five I would be used to “A” being everywhere but I still get surprised at how ingenious “A” is.

Emily confronts Jenna and Sydney. It’s so freaky how they look so alike—did I mention they wore the exact same outfit to this doctor’s appointment?! They look like twins! Marlene King, PLL’s executive producer, hinted that someone would be a twin but that they wouldn’t follow the original story in the books about Alison having a twin. Could it be that Jenna has had a twin all along? How would that affect things? Did Toby know about Jenna’s twin? Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Sydney tells Emily that she’s known Jenna a few years now from when she volunteered at the school for the visually impaired. Once Jenna knew Alison was coming back to Rosewood, she freaked out and Sydney came to support her. I’m not buying it! Why would someone move to a new town and school just like that? There’s more to that story and I’m glad that Emily for once wasn’t gullible enough to believe Sydney. Oh Sydney, I always knew there was something up with you.

Back at Caleb’s cabin, Hannah confesses to Caleb about Zack hitting on her. Caleb immediately heads to the brew to confront Zack. Zack by the way is a total sleaze. He also shows Caleb a note that Hannah supposedly slipped into his pocket.

I was so very pleased at the fact that Caleb knew Hannah better than to think she had actually written that. That note had “A” written all over it—it’s no wonder that Zack thought it was okay to slip into Hannah’s car. It was still totally gross though.

Thankfully Aria came to her senses and told her mom about Zack’s advances on Hannah. Ella’s reaction shows us how much of a dirtbag Zack really was since it wasn’t the first time that something of the sort had occurred. Poor Ella just doesn’t have the best of luck with men apparently. The engagement is off, of course. It seems maybe the PLLs should thank “A” for its meddling with Zack. At least, it stopped Ella from making a giant mistake by marrying Zack. Aria was smart enough to listen to her gut feeling and trust that her friend wouldn’t make up such a terrible thing, even if she realized this a little late. Hannah’s feelings were definitely hurt, but she was willing to accept Aria’s apology and it was so nice to see Hannah be on better terms with her friends.

Hannah was also emptying out all of the alcohol at Caleb’s cabin, so it could be a sign she’s snapping out of her drunken stupor.

As engagements are being called off and friendships are being mended, Spencer has the brilliant idea to go to the lake house to hide the evidence that Emily found in Noel’s car. It’s no surprise that she wasn’t alone at the lake house. Noel is bent on getting back those pictures.

They’re “insurance” for his protection in case Alison ever decides to drop him. It turns out that Noel broke into Jenna’s house to retrieve those pictures that prove Alison was never kidnapped. He was able to make it out of the house right before it exploded. Now Noel isn’t too sure the house exploding right when he was there seconds before was a total coincidence. So, even though Noel is helping Ali, he’s also looking out for himself. Ali must have something big on Noel. Here’s his desperate face:

The fight between Noel and Spencer showed a different side to Spencer that we hadn’t seen before. Yes, Spencer is brave and courageous but in this moment she wasn’t going to lose her ground even if it meant busting his face open with the fireplace tool. She wasn’t playing games! Also, Noel hiding under those sheets sitting on the sofa chair scared me so bad!  Again, who thinks of doing something like that?!

Spencer isn’t giving up those pictures, not because she’s concerned about protecting Ali but because she needs those pictures for her safety as well. She’s aware that Alison is capable of backstabbing them at any moment if it benefits her.

Alison is definitely not loyal. I’m interested in figuring out more of how Noel plays into this whole story. Whose side is he on? I wonder if Ali knows how Noel feels.

The episode ends in quite a shocking way! Alison is called in to the police station. A man named Cyrus has turned himself in, confessing to be Alison’s kidnapper. He confesses to detective Tanner with every exact detail that Alison mentioned during her testimony to them. This man confessing would be Ali’s perfect cover-up to have the cops off her back. We close out seeing “A” at the eye doctor’s office listening to a recording of Ali’s testimony. 

“A” is behind the man who confessed to Ali’s kidnapping! But who would be willing to go to jail for “A”? Has Ali ever seen Cyrus before? Because she looks pretty spooked. I don’t know; I feel like I’ve seen this guy before, but I can’t put my finger on it.

Will Ali confirm to the police that this man was the one who kidnapped her?

If she does, will it completely backfire on her and make things worse for her and the PLLs?

We’ll have to wait until next week to find out what else “A” has planned up their black hoodie sleeve.

Fave moments of the week:

–       Caleb standing up for Hannah—he knows the girl he loves wouldn’t write a note like that!

–       Spencer giving a speech to Caleb about how he and Hannah need to get back to their former power couple status — we all say, “Yes, please!”

–       Aria apologizing to Hannah for not wanting to believe her—yay to being BFFs again!

–       Spencer totally dominating Noel at the lake house—kudos for being in control!

Sound off below and share your favorite moments!

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