The Ten Worst Films of 2016

So much of me wants to go rogue here and talk about how, actually, it was the floundering, obnoxious and screamingly sour Florence Foster Jenkins that was actually the worst movie of the year that also just so happens to be receiving award accolades. However, that would be going against the poll we crafted to determine the worst films of the year.

(But really, give me a legitimate redeeming factor of Jenkins that isn’t just Meryl Streep is in it.)

In all fairness and honesty, 2016 was a pretty strong year for film if we’re able to look past some box office disasters (more on those in a few). This is one of the few reasons it finally seemed apt to make a list such as this. Everyone needs to blow off steam sometimes, and we were able to retrospectively find humor in some of the grossly planned and executed films released this year. Take a look through the slideshow to see what films made our worst of list and let us know in the comments below which ones would have made your list.

10. TMNT 2

In a world full of sequels, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows was certainly one of the least memorable and engaging of the bunch. At two hours long, the film was underwhelming, the action dull, and the dialogue just shy of being extremely cringe-worthy. Arrow star Stephen Amell, armed with a hockey stick, joins Megan Fox in this unenjoyable sequel, Tyler Perry wears a bow-tie and is sort of a villain, and there is something called the “purple ooze.” Mostly, the turtles spend the entire movie fighting and hiding in the shadows, something that got tiring really fast. On top of that, the film is far too silly to work on either a nostalgic or entertaining level. –Mae Abdulbaki

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9. Nine Lives

The biggest takeaway from Nine Lives is how surprisingly mean-spirited it is in a non-cynical way. Every character is completely reprehensible. Aside from Tom, his wife (Jennifer Garner) has an entire subplot devoted to her unfaithfulness and aspirations for a divorce. She’s been seeing someone else behind Tom’s back but we’re supposed to root for her because Tom works too much. His son (Robbie Amell), is the definition of a pushover until the script conveniently needs him to care about his father’s company and well-being. If these don’t sound reprehensible enough, then Tom’s partner Ian takes the cake considering he’s practically a supervillain. While Tom’s human body lies in a coma, Ian manipulates the board members to sell off the company. Unless your child is fond of the politics of company ownership percentages, this entire subplot is superfluous. This is a world in which the rules of morality are nonexistent and everyone is just a despicable human being. – Matthew Goudreau 

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8. Yoga Hosers

Yoga Hosers is the kind of film you’d make with your friends on the weekend in high school, where the script is half-finished, the actors barely resemble their parts, and it’s apparent that everyone making the film was not in their sober mind. This not the work of a high school pot head, but Kevin Smith, who once upon a time made charming and sometimes sophisticated work like Clerks and Dogma. The difference is that while you’d laugh off your slapdash, infantile creative ventures and never, ever, ever show another soul, Yoga Hosers is an in-joke without an audience. We laugh at it, not with it. – Josh Cabrita 

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7. X-Men: Apocalypse

X-Men Apocalypse is the kind of bad that makes you hate something you love. Terrible timing too, as my adoration for the franchise had just shot through the roof with Deadpool three months earlier. Bryan Singer, who made an immensely successful effort in re-building his franchise with Days of Future Past, has managed to capsize it all over again. To see actors with the talent of James Mcavoy, Michael Fassbender and Oscar Isaac get dragged into such a dull, cartoonish story wasn’t just embarrassing, it was sad. The only person who cared as little as the audience, Jennifer Lawrence. -Michael Fairbanks

6. Dirty Grandpa

Dirty Grandpa is just that: dirty. What was marketed as a raunchy road-trip comedy starring Zac Efron and THE Robert DeNiro was a entirely off-brand, offensive spewage of derogatory remarks, sexism, homophobia and rampant racism. (Seriously, DeNiro says the n-word TWICE in a single scene.) Everyone involved in Dirty Grandpa — from director Dan Mazer to the slew of actors, even the lesser-known ones, whose talents are far too seasoned to stoop so low as this horrific excuse for a “comedy” “film” — should feel deeply ashamed of their commitment to and acceptance of the project, its content and its nature. Dirty Grandpa isn’t just the worst film I saw in 2016; it’s the worst film I have seen full-stop. Avoid it like your worst ex. – AJ Chase 

5. Gods of Egypt

From the very beginning (of time), this film was destined to fail. Even in sci-fi, if you’re going to base your fantasy world around a real world location and time period, at least make sure the races and ethnicities the geographical location. Not only were most of the human characters whitewashed, but the deities were too. Director Alex Proyas tried to hide behind the premise that this is all fantasy, and maybe we would have been willing to follow him into his delusion were the film any good. This abomination couldn’t even thrill on the most basic levels, throwing us Transformer-like gods and CGI-heavy beasts that made the film feel like a video game you’re trapped inside. Films like this can sometimes be saved by the performances, but no amount of divine intervention could have saved these wooden and campy performances from anything but a life of (hopefully) obscurity. – Jon Espino 

4.Independence Day 2

Rather than staying true to the self-aware, summer blockbuster flair in 1996’s Independence Day, Resurgence is an overstuffed, repetitive self-parody of its well-known predecessor. The warning was on the wall when five writers were credited for the script, in addition to the filmmakers having faith in Liam Hemsworth, whose chemistry is as engaging as a Ben Stein lecture, succeed Will Smith in the male lead role. Both the returning stars and new actors are mostly dour in their performances, and the attempts at humor are haphazard and juvenile. Also since ID4 set the bar for mass destruction of worldwide landmarks in blockbuster movies, we’ve become so accustomed to the trope that the action in the sequel feels ultimately stale and uninspired. After his success with the first film, Roland Emmerich has since fallen deep down the filmmaking depths, and has now reached the point where studio heads need to invade his office and obliterate the license that allows him to make movies. – -Tyler Christian 

3. Zoolander 2

In a period of film-making where some features are getting sequels over a decade after their originals came out, this is one shoddy follow up that should have never seen the light of day. You’d think with four writers helming the script, one of them being Ben Stiller himself, you’d think this feature would at least crack some memorable jokes. Instead, all Zoolander 2 manages to be is a lazy rehash that is considerably more miss than hit. Containing none of the wit and charm of the original, instead replacing it with countless celebrity cameos and a criminally stale script,Zoolander 2 is unarguably one of the worst comedies 2016 had to offer audiences. -Donald Strohman

2. Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice

The failure of Zack Snyders woefully produced sledgehammer of a film, Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice can be broken down into two aspects. First, there was the fact that there was always going to be high expectations for the film as it was pitting together two of the best known comic book names in history while also introducing a third for her first, big screen debut (still marveling over the “first” there). And second, that the film was just really shoddily made. With awkward and inconsistent tones, characters whose only resemblance to their origins were there costumes and a bleak, rain sodden and dreary atmosphere, Snyders film only once again confirmed that his talents lie with the visual nature of a film, nothing else, and even that should be in small doses.

“Martha!”

“Why did you say that name!?!”

ugh. – Allyson Johnson 

1. Suicide Squad

Sure, the team of so-called villains in Suicide Squad might have been up against a generic, villainous witch, but I like to think they were attacking us all. It’s rare that a movie with so many opportunities manages to miss almost every one of them, but by god, Suicide Squad does it. There is just not enough room to describe how this movie is a slap in the face to anyone expecting a coherent plot, good characters, interesting foes, or really any kind of logic at all. They’d rather just appeal to their audience’s worst instincts by throwing a dizzying array of fetishized, sexist violence at us. Why? To see if it sticks, I guess. The talent involved is the only reason this baffling stew of too many cooks is just barely watchable, and it’s almost heartbreaking to see Margot Robbie give her all as Harley Quinn in material that’s so damn beneath her. And The Joker. Oh, don’t even get me started. It’s almost a relief that most of his scenes were edited out, seeing what this movie did to one of the best bad guys ever created. But even this dark cloud may have a silver lining, what with Margot Robbie reprising her role-and producing to boot-in the Birds of Prey film, due out in 2018, about the legendary ladies of Gotham, such as Poison Ivy, Catwoman, Batgirl, and Black Canary. Then again, at this point I’ll just be happy with a passable silver lining coming out of all this mess. – Andrea Thomson 

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