It’s “Bloody Thursday” at Jenna’s high school, also known as the day guys fumble through giving girls their Homecoming pins in order to ask them to the dance. Jenna’s concerned she won’t get one. Probably because she doesn’t ever listen to the words that come out of her boyfriend’s mouth, only the ones belonging to the paranoid voices in her head. Jenna and I are going through a rough patch right now, one that’s bringing out the snark in me. I’m hoping she gets over the insanity soon so we can patch up our fragile relationship. Matty staves off her fears, showing up with a garish light up pin he made himself.
Hey, Ming’s back! Jenna’s prattling on about “survivor’s guilt” and how she can’t deal with having a pin while other girls don’t, specifically Christy, a girl we’ve never seen before. Tamara reveals that Jenna’s being a Debbie Downer because Matty can’t dance. Really? That’s kind of shitty, J. Ming is pulled away by the evil Becca, who’s calling in her favor for stealing the security tape…last season? Maybe? Unsure. She wants to place Ming in a Homecoming Committee meeting to make the “Great Ball of China” theme lose. Ming decides she’s going to outsmart Becca and exact her revenge.
Matty tells Jenna that she doesn’t have to wear the pin because it’s kind of obnoxious. Noting his use of the exact same word she used to describe the pin, Jenna pulls Tamara aside to ask her why she told Matty. Our girl T didn’t, of course. She told Jake because they tell each other everything, and Jake told Matty because they’re involved in quite the bromance. Jenna requests that Tamara keeps her mouth shut when it comes to her relationship. Jenna tells Matty that not only can she not wear the pin because it’ll make other girls feel bad, but she can’t go to the dance.
Sadie’s at a Homecoming Committee meeting and she’s pissed because nothing has been decided. “This all could have been done weeks ago if I still had infinite power,” she says. Preach. The girl gets stuff done. Ming approaches Sadie asking if, as a manipulative bitch, she says what she means when she tells someone to do something. Sadie responds in the affirmative and tells Ming to go away. Ming supports the “Great Ball of China” theme, hoping to dash Becca’s plot.
Back at Casa Hamilton, Ma Lacey breaks down some things down for Jenna when she finds out Jenna refuses to go with the dance. She explains that in order to help people that Jenna doesn’t know, she’s going to hurt Matty, who she supposedly loves. I added the supposedly, Jenna’s mother has more faith in her than I do. Ma Lacey forces Jenna to call Matty and talk to him about the dance. They each address the fact that they don’t want the other to be forced into something they don’t want. They decide to attend the dance.
Matty is understandably confused, so he addresses the issue with Tamara and Jake. The boys note T’s loud silence and, in the most adorable scene ever, tickle attack her into revealing that Jenna’s concerned that Matty can’t dance. Jake takes on the challenge of teaching Matty how to dance and boots Tamara from the house, citing bro-code. Being as Jake’s lesson involves the Sprinkler, I can’t imagine that Matty is going to come out of this with better dance skills than when he started. The important thing is their lesson is glorious. Jake breaks down the Rosati men’s secret to dancing: “You gotta give good face!” I didn’t think this scene could get any better, but they proved me wrong.
Homecoming: Ming fell into Becca’s trap and did exactly what she wanted—meaning Becca did the whole dance cheaply and can put the rest of the money towards a ski trip. Ming confronts Sadie about her crap advice, then realizes it’s her own fault. “I asked a white bitch for Asian bitch advice, fuck!” She recommits herself to a long-haul revenge plan. Becca sends her a text letting her know that she’s aware of Ming’s plot.
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Oh, look. Christy, the girl Jenna’s been rallying around, is at the dance. Jenna approaches her and delivers this big speech about how dances like this can make you feel unlovable, which is quite presumptuous and annoying. Christy thinks she’s a loon (same, Christy, same) and gives Jenna a dose of reality. Christy didn’t throw her lunch away, it was a drug drop. The journal Jenna saw her writing in is actually a ledger. And Christy’s eyes were bloodshot because she was as high as the proverbial kite. Christy is subsequently arrested by an undercover DEA agent and brought into custody for dealing.
Jenna returns to find Matty breaking it down and giving good face on the dance floor. Tamara is horrified that her breaking girl code resulted in Matty being a “spazzhole.” Jenna assures her that she’s not mad and looks legitimately happy at how happy Matty is surrounded by other people dancing. She drags him outside and blasts a car stereo, saying that she missed some of his moves because his dancing made him too popular on the dance floor. The two dance ridiculously and adorably in the parking lot.
Basically…
– Jenna’s obsession over Christy’s happiness continued her tradition of disregarding Matty’s feelings and didn’t win her any points over here.
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– Ming returned! I’m excited to see where her scheming takes her. I hope she and Sadie end up working together.
– Tamara, Jake, and Matty were pretty much the cutest thing ever. I’d like to watch a show devoted to them living Three’s Company style, please and thank you!
Next week: dun dun duuuuuun. “Rubbed Raw and Reeling” has Jenna reading personal things at the coffeehouse. Matty doesn’t seem to like it–but Colin does.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PDpRiJHL_gU
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