I often find myself quoting lines from movies and television in everyday conversation. However, I never quoted a fictional character whose lines are not their own, but mostly from other works of Hollywood. This changed the day I watched an episode of Workaholics titled, “Brociopath,” and discovered the joy of quoting within quotes. Allow me to explain.
One of the staple traits of fraternity brothers is mimicking lines from funny movies or television. Every bro has seen Happy Gilmore, Wedding Crashers, Anchorman, etc. And every bro likes to haphazardly recall a line to share a laugh with his buddies. This form of male companionship is expertly captured by Workaholics’ Stan Halen.
There is a scene where Stan is hanging out on a rooftop with Anders, Blake, and Adam. He is dressed in golf apparel because the guys are getting ready to tee off for the “US BrOpen,” a term cleverly coined by Stan. Anxious to find common ground with him, Blake reveals that he has a replica hockey putter from Happy Gilmore, to which Stan replies, “Classic movie! ‘The price is wrong bitch! How about a nice glass of-uh, a shut the hell up! Why don’t you go to your home?’ You gotta get that club.”
After laughing my ass off at this entire episode, I now find myself spotting off classic lines like, “I’m Ron Burgundy?” or “Milk was a bad choice,” in Stan’s voice, as opposed to Will Ferrell’s. He has given our beloved comedies a new shot of life, making their most memorable moments even funnier than before.
So how did the guys from Workaholics meet Stan Halen? What else is it about this guy that makes him so memorable? You might ask, “Is that even his real name?” Well, Stan would tell you that his real name sucks.
There is no doubt that he is a mystery. The guys first cross paths with him during an after party when the electricity shuts off in their house. As everyone starts making their way to the exits, Adam and Ders try desperately to keep everyone entertained with a routine from Kindergarten Cop. Amazingly, nobody seems to care and the night looks like it will end in disappointment.
Enter Stan Halen.
Donned in a pair of Oakley sunglasses, cargo shorts and a green Kappa Zeta Nu t-shirt, Stan proclaims, “All right, everybody get back in the house! Party’s back on. We’re gonna take a trip to the third world!” As Adam gleams up at Stan like the idol he has been waiting to worship, the gang starts making some “savage jungle juice” and the night is saved.
From that point on, Stan is always around Adam, Blake and Ders, constantly wanting to party and initiate the three TelAmeriCorp employees into Kappa Zeta Nu. Although enticing, Blake and Ders refuse to carry on when Stan requests they each insert a vodka-soaked tampon into their butts, as alcohol absorbs like fifty times faster in your south mouth, according to Stan.
Adam is the only one who obliges and things only start to get stranger regarding the credibility of Stan’s character. He advertises himself as an Oakley Sunglasses rep and former Kappa Zeta Nu fraternity brother, given his self-proclaimed all-time legendary status. Beyond that, he doesn’t seem to have any family, friends or motivation beyond partying.
Blake and Ders eventually visit the Kappa Zeta Nu house where two of the brothers reveal that Stan Halen has never been a member, but has been hanging around their house and believes in his own mind that he is a legend. He is a brociopath, fixated on the idea of living the frat life regardless of his age (which is also a mystery), responsibilities or the fact that he isn’t in a fraternity.
In the final scene of the episode, we see Adam being held captive by Stan as Blake and Ders come to the rescue. They corner Stan, revealing they know he is not who he claims to be. Stan reacts by taking a hot iron featuring the “KZN” letters to his chest and says, “I may need one of you bros to blow on this.” Stan then proceeds to chase the three guys around the house with the hot iron, asking “Where is the most epic place to brand you?”
The guys stop Stan’s advance by convincing him to drink an air freshener because it has alcohol in it. Stan takes the container saying, “It’s so good. Once it hits your lips, it’s so good! Old School.” After an initial gulp, he immediately starts feeling sick and says, “Milk was a bad choice. Anchorman,” and passes out.
The episode concludes with Stan being carted off in an ambulance to a psych ward. It is my sincere hope that Stan breaks out and makes an appearance for the upcoming season of Workaholics which starts in January 2015. He is undoubtedly one of the funniest cameo characters the show has featured and I encourage anybody kind enough to read this post to check it out.
Lines from Stan that aren’t movie quotes:
- Do you girls wanna have some organized fun like in the old days?
- Drink while you think. That’s my main rule.
- We’re going gardening at a beer garden.
- Initiation night’s coming up, and I can probably get you dick slaps in depending upon how cool you are.
- Nip out or ship out.