TV Review: <i>Scream</i> (1×05) “Exposed”

This week on Scream, we see what happens when a secret is exposed, someone’s old flame returns, and two idiots attempt to blackmail a city official. Stay tuned!

Cyberbullying: The Worst

Branson’s class: OF COURSE they’re studying The Scarlet Letter! Classes on TV tend to do that when cyberbullying or slut shaming becomes relevant to the plot. The class receives a Gossip Girl blast with gifs of Emma and Will, spurring Emma to use her new notoriety to remind everyone of Riley’s vigil.

Kieran didn’t watch the sex tape. “I like the anticipation,” he says, giving Emma a look. Woah, Kieran, confident much? He disappeared for a few days to deal with some stuff from his mom’s death, but he’s back to convince Emma that she’s safe. Sorry dude, I’m on her side–proceeding with caution seems like the best idea at the present moment.

Enter Lorraine Brock

Detective Lorraine Brock has been brought in for the homicide investigation–looks like the town doesn’t have much confidence in Sheriff Hudson anymore. He has a choice: take a leave of absence, or take on curfew enforcement, which he considers a step above crossing guard duty.

Brock approaches Emma during Riley’s vigil, inspiring the killer to send a charming text to Emma: “Tell that cop about me and you’ll get your mom’s heart in a box.” Emma follows directions; she claims that her communication with the killer is actually a prank from a Brandon James junkie. Even so, Brock makes an astute observation: with the killer’s conversations with Emma, Rachel’s “suicide” being a message only the medical examiner would understand, and Emma’s father being the only surviving Brandon James massacre victim, the murders are tied to Emma’s family.

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Sheriff Hudson explains to Maggie that he and Brock used to be together–that is, when they were on the drugs. She brought out both the best and worst in him, but they went their separate ways when he got clean. More importantly, he and Maggie end up making out in the kitchen, and Maggie’s happy he finally made a move.

“Someone Has to Tell Emma What Really Happened Freshman Year”

And it’s going to be Brooke. Freshman year, Nina decided that Pristine Pollyanna Emma needed to be taken down a notch, so she bet Will that he couldn’t sleep with her inside of a month. Emma is upset, but after losing Riley and Nina, she’s not about to excommunicate Brooke.

The same cannot be said for Will, thankfully. “I WAS A BET?” Emma yells at Will, immediately causing me a strong desire to watch She’s All That. She slaps him and does an awesome job kicking his ass to the curb, hopefully for good. To really drive the point home, the next day she eyes Will just as she kisses Kieran in the hallway.

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Why Do High School Students Get “Language Arts” Homework?

Noah discovers malware attached to their language arts homework, at which point I was more concerned about the fact that their high school teaches a class called “Language Arts” rather than “English” or “Literature.” Anyway, the malware allows the creator to access the cameras on students’ laptops, phones, and tablets to spy on them. Noah and Audry go through Branson’s computer, discovering that student aides Tyler, Nina, and Riley would have had access to his computer and the files. Did he kill them to keep his secret? I’m going to bet no.

Piper Shaw Kind of Seems Suspicious to Me

Piper Shaw is still kicking around, and this week she informs Emma that Rachel’s parents think that Audry was intimidating Rachel into doing what she wanted. Emma thinks their rationale is probably due to not wanting to believe that their daughter chose to be with a girl, but Piper isn’t sure. You know what I’m not sure about? Piper’s innocence. Piper explains her reasoning behind her interest in true crime: when she was little, her father was murdered. She doesn’t think that the police even tried to solve it.

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The Brain Trust Breaks Up

Jake and Will carry out their blackmail plan against Mayor Brooke’s dad. Mayor Brooke’s dad hands over $10,000 with the promise of another $90,000 as long as the threatened video is completely destroyed. Jake pockets the money, but not before breaking his nose and threatening him with a knife to the throat. Will is done with Jake–no one was supposed to get hurt!

Jake brings Brooke a pineapple and pepperoni pizza. “If I had to choose between you and Will, it’s no contest…you have seniority,” Jake explains. He too, wants to become a better version of himself, so he “comes clean.” He tells her that Tyler and Nina were blackmailing her father with a video, and with them gone, Will picked up where they left off. What he doesn’t know is that Mayor Brooke’s dad watched the entire thing on their security videos. Jake shows Brooke the video, which might feature her father bringing a body out of his trunk the day after her mom left? I’m not sure if that is in fact a body, but WHAT ARE YOU PEOPLE MESSING AROUND WITH? Call the cops, for the love of God. Idiots.

They Don’t Just Give Guns to Sheriff’s Children

In order to soothe Emma’s fears, Kieran brings her out into the middle of nowhere so no one can hear what’s happening! Brilliant. Really, it’s so he can teach her to shoot a gun. He says it’s fine, his dad is a cop! No, that’s not real, but carry on. Since he can’t be her bodyguard 24/7, he tries to give her the gun to protect herself. She smartly declines. And then they start making out and stripping, so they’ve got another use for the space where no one can hear them. Nudge, nudge, am I right?

Another episode without a death! Sorry y’all, but THIS is why you can’t do a slasher movie as a TV series. Scream is kind of getting its footing, but I would not call it a slasher series–it’s still more along the lines of a regular old teen thriller. Emma continues to impress me in her development, while some of the other characters leave a bit to be desired. I want more information about Kieran and Piper than some random expository statements–they need to be more involved in the plot.

Best line: “I just want to believe something that doesn’t turn into utter crap.” – Emma, after discovering that most people she knows suck.

Killer Calls Per Episode: Two!

Body Count Per Episode: Zero.

Cumulative Body Count: 4.

Episode Rating: 6/10

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