Comedy Central has some impressive marketing regarding the season premiere of Workaholics. Guns and explosions are the themes of the commercials and it has me laughing my ass off for two reasons. The first: knowing they spent way more money on special effects for the commercials than they will for episodes. The second: those who have never watched Workaholics must be remarkably confused about the theme of the show.
The season five premiere picks up with Adam, Blake and Ders sitting in their living room, watching the awards show for the adult entertainment industry. As much fun as it is to see a car engulfed in flames, this setting is the Workaholics I’ve come to know and I’m glad they chose to stick with a familiar recipe.
Some people like to do Super Bowl squares but not these dudes. Adam, Blake and Ders bet on who wins each respective category of the AVN Awards. If you are a fan of Workaholics, you can take one guess as to who got every category correct, even calling the upset for best documentary, “12 Inches of Slave.” That’s right, Adam “the man” DeMamp shares his extensive knowledge of the porn industry not only during the awards show, but throughout the entire episode.
At the office, Alice informs Ders that he will be making a visit to a college campus to recruit students for TelAmeriCorp, and he can bring two co-workers to help him for the day. Naturally, Adam and Blake jump at the chance to visit a college, but Ders is reluctant to choose them as they will slack off… Which is exactly what happens and each of the guys has their own adventure at North Rancho Cucamonga College.
Ders is left by himself under the TeliAmeriCorp recruiting tent because his roommates/best friends ditch him. Behind a banner that reads, “TelAmeriCorp – We Call You,” he shouts through a megaphone while drawing little attention from any students. They seem to be more interested in the Coast Guard guys next to him and a hilarious rivalry is born.
The sharp wit of Anders that previously dubbed himself “DJ Ango” tears into the Coast Guard recruiters to the point where they become overly frustrated and give him a “Code Red.” Now, anyone who has seen A Few Good Men knows a “Code Red” means roughing up a soldier who hasn’t performed his duties.
But this is Workaholics and the Coast Guard recruiters pin Anders down, pour “Mountain Dew: Code Red” all over his bare ass, and whistle a dog over.
Blake is excited to be on a college campus because it is an opportunity to tap into his acting aspirations. He enters the college theater where an audition is taking place and attempts to blow everyone away with a reading of Othello in the style of Crocodile Dundee. He is immediately demanded to leave by the director who asks, “Do you even go to this school?”
An attractive blonde girl is the only one to take notice of Blake’s acting talents. She leads him away from the auditorium to work on a special film project, and he happily obliges. Unbeknownst to Blake, the blonde is a porn producer who sweet talks him into doing an adult film. At one point, the male director of the film demands that Blake disrobe on the set (a dorm room). Blake feels manipulated to the point of tears and doesn’t find refuge until Adam comes to save the day.
Adam experiences serious déjà vu by setting foot on campus. “This is the college where they shot 24 out of 36 of my favorite college pornos!” he exclaims. Inspired by the set of his favorite works of art, Adam engages in some serious sleuthing. It is his goal to find the room where they film all the gangbangs.
During his adventure, Adam follows a student carrying a female anatomy book thinking it will lead him to the sacred room. Instead, he finds himself in a lecture hall that is occupied by a gender studies class. The female professor is quick to make an example of him after he makes remarks such as, “What’s up, ladies? Should have worn my big dick jeans!”
The professor opens his mind as to how the porn industry uses women to get what they want. She tells Adam that actresses in those films could be his sister or mother, to which Adam thinks of when his mom would make him sandwiches as a little boy.
“No woman should go home and make little boy ham sandwiches with ejaculate on their fingers!” he says.
After a serious change of heart, Adam leads the gender studies class into the infamous gang bang room, the same place that is shooting the sex video of Blake. Adam says, “Old Adam is mad that you didn’t invite him to the orgy and New Adam is mad that you are involved. You have two mad Adams to answer to. MADAMS!”
Once it is clear that Blake was the one being exploited, and the blonde girl is a porn producer who likes doing this work, Adam immediately falls back into his old ways.
This episode was very quotable, had me laughing and got me excited to see what the rest of the season has in store. I highly recommend it to anyone with an outlandish sense of humor.