Halloween is just around the corner and with The Last Witch Hunter hitting theaters this Friday, what better way to start the celebration of this spooky holiday by counting down a list of witches!
In The Last Witch Hunter, Vin Diesel plays Kaulder, a warrior who defeated the Queen Witch years ago, thus wiping out her legion of followers. However, before she died, she cursed him with her immortality causing him to separate from his family forever. Years later, the queen has come back to life and is ready to track down her killer for revenge.
Here, you’ll find all kinds of witches; from undersea witches, to young witches, to ugly witches and even old witches. Warning: You will not find Hermione Granger or Sabrina the Teenage Witch on this list (because there’s enough clichés in this post). Here we go!
10. Samantha (Bewitched)
We’ll start off with one of the funnest (and smartest) witches I know; Samantha from Bewitched. She was cute, spunky and definitely knew how to get her way. Just a wiggle of the nose and she was set! If you don’t know anything about Bewitched or Samantha, here’s a little 411. Bewitched was a show that aired in the 1960’s about a witch named Samantha who marries a regular mortal man and vows not to use her magic powers in order to become the perfect housewife. You can’t even imagine the sort of mayhem she gets herself into. If you don’t want to binge watch all the seasons, you can enjoy the underrated 2005 version starring Nicole Kidman and Will Ferrell which follows *almost* the same story line.
9. Louise (Teen Witch)
When this unpopular, nerdy girl learns she is a descendant of the witches of Salem who will inherit magical powers on her 16th birthday, she comes up with a plan to become popular and win the heart of the hot guy at her school (I mean, isn’t that what we’d all do at 16?). Louise also decides that it’s a great opportunity to get back at everyone that has ever made her feel inferior; From her teachers, to the mean girls at school, even her trolling little brother. She wasn’t afraid to go after what she wanted, which is why she makes my list (along with the “cute witches” list). I highly recommend you check out this fun 80’s flick during the Halloween season. You won’t regret it.
8. Aggie Cromwell (Halloweentown)
Alright, I know you expected Marnie to be on this list, but how could I ignore how awesome and fabulous Aggie Cromwell was? (If you have no idea what I’m talking about, get off your butt and go watch Halloweentown right now!) First of all, Aggie also wins the ‘coolest grandma in the history of grandmas’ award. I mean, besides the fact that she’s a witch, she flies around on a broom, has no shame in carrying around her magic bag full of goodies and wants to teach her grand-kids all about Halloween and their magical powers! She is also a resident of one of the coolest fictional cities ever, Halloweentown, where it’s Halloween ALL. THE. TIME! She is fearless, assertive and smart as hell! Everything you’d want in a
7. Bellatrix Lestrange (Harry Potter)
Alright, don’t kill me… Just hear me out! Not all witches can be good! In fact, a lot of them are really bad, and Bellatrix falls into that category more than most. She’s a twisted, cynical, radical follower of he who shall not be named and literally gives NO F%#!S about it. She wants to be bad and she wants to be good at it, no regrets and that’s what I love most about her. That’s why she’s on the list. She’s so good at being bad!
6. Ursula the Sea Witch (The Little Mermaid)
Ursula is mean. Just so, so, so mean! She wants power and she wants it now! Ain’t nothin’ wrong with that. She’s got a plan to get what she wants and up until the end it’s pretty flawless. Her determination and evilness is what gets her on the list. Now, let’s talk about the show she puts on when she’s casting the human spell on Ariel. Hello, check out those dramatic hands and that giant undersea cauldron while maintaining her fabulous red lipstick– SLAY, QUEEN URSULA! SLAY!
5. Minerva McGonagall (Harry Potter)
McGonagall literally has no chill. Always busting missions to make sure her students are safe, educated and ready for anything. I feel like as much as Potterheads appreciate and love McGonagall, she is often overlooked by non-Potterheads because she’s not Snape or Dumbledore. Which is why I’ve decided to shed some light on my beloved McGonagall. She wastes no time when things need to get done and is all about building trust with her students. She knows to maintain a sense of friendship while still reminding them that she’s in charge. And my, don’t we love an assertive woman in charge? She’s kind, fearless and talented as hell, which is why she belongs on this list!
4. The Wicked Witch of the West (Wizard of Oz)
First of all, what did Toto ever do to you?! Although her hatred towards Dorothy is warranted (she did kill her sister, after all), she has absolutely no valid reason to hate on poor Toto! Not many know the story of the Wicked Witch of the West, but those of us who have seen the Broadway masterpiece, Wicked, or read the book by Gregory Maguire titled Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West know that she wasn’t always so evil. Life was cruel to her and that’s why I’ve put her on the list. She decided she’d had enough of being treated unfairly and did something about it by becoming the villainous Wicked Witch of the West. She’s mean and ugly and everything we imagine witches to be.
3. Winifred Sanderson (Hocus Pocus)
If Winifred Sanderson isn’t on anyone’s list of favorite witches, they’ve made a serious mistake. Clearly the smartest of the Sanderson sisters and the most clever, it’s no question that she made my list of favorites. She’s a solid 10 when it comes to witches, from flying on brooms and outsmarting 21st century teens, she takes the cake. All she wants is to be young and alive forever, is that really too much to ask? Don’t even get me started on her flawless performance of “I Put a Spell on You” and her creeptastic spell book! She has the perfect balance of likability and wickedness.
2. Nancy Downs (The Craft)
This 90’s teen drama has the capacity to be seriously creepy. Fair warning. If you haven’t seen this movie, it’s a great one to get you in the Halloween spirit. Imagine Mean Girls, but spookier and with witchcraft. Basically, the perfect Halloween movie, am I right? A little bit about Nancy, well, she’s the most evil of the group of girls. When 4 LA girls get together to perform witchcraft to get back at some schoolmates, Nancy takes it to a whole other level because her main focus is acquiring power. You can only imagine the atrocities she does and she’s frightening and sinister as hell, which is why she’s placed at number 2 of my list of favorite witches. An all around bad ass
1. Miss Eva Ernst/ Grand High Witch (The Witches)
This movie is what our childhood nightmares were made of. Seriously spooky stuff, and to think it was a kids movie! The story follows a boy who finds himself at a witch convention while visiting England with his Grandma. While exploring in the hotel, he discovers that the witches have a plot to rid England of all of its children! Once the witches find out that this boy wants to stop them, they give him chocolate that turns him into a mouse! CHILDHOOD NIGHTMARES, I TELL YOU! Goodbye forever, chocolate. Now, I know it doesn’t sound scary at all, but I promise you these witches are straight up scary as hell. Big noses, scary voices and ugly skin– it was unsettling as a child. These witches were probably the first I ever saw on film and boy did they do a good job at scaring the living crap out of me. They were straight up the ugliest things I’d ever laid eyes on.