TV Review: Awkward. 4×14 – “Welcome to Hell”

This week on Awkward., the kids are simultaneously facing Career Day AND college decision day! This sounds promising.

College Decision Drama

Is Tamara excited about getting her SCU letter? “Excited? I’m a Kanye Mess!” she yells, reminding Jenna that she vomited during her interview. She needn’t worry—she and everyone else but Our Miss J get accepted. Jenna pretends she hasn’t heard back. Tamara, reveling in the culmination of her educational existence, wants to celebrate: “Come on Jenna! Let’s go be teen trash!” This means cutting class, breaking the dress code, and smoking an e-cigarette in the sanctuary.

When an SCU alum/author congratulates Jenna on her acceptance, Our Miss J finally breaks and tells everyone she didn’t get in. The first thing she does is get angry that Tamara was accepted even though she screwed up the interview so badly, which T is none too pleased about. Lashing out is so last season Jenna.

Avoiding Owen

Jenna is also trying—and failing—to avoid Owen. By chance they meet in the hallway and he gives her a classical music book. She shakes him off, but she is left thinking about her guilt over lying to Matty.

Owen asks Jenna out after she receives her SCU rejection, and it’s not pretty. Every negative feeling she’s having, she throws at him in rejection.

How Matty Got His Groove Back… Or Not

Sadie, Jake, and Matty watch as Intimidation Nation (the name for the intense, overachieving athletes at their school) member Gabby plays tennis. Jake thinks asking Gabby out is the perfect opportunity for Matty to get back in the game, but Sadie thinks he’s out of luck—Intimidation Nation girls only date college guys. Matty takes this as a challenge and is brutally rebuffed for his efforts. He later turns down Jenna’s invite to hang out to go home so he can find his swag. As one does.

Young Boy, Get Out of My Mind

Val introduces a very successful corporate lawyer, i.e. the cougar Jake hooked up with on New Year’s Eve. Val manages to blow up his spot and reveal to his latest conquest that he is, in fact, in high school.

During a clandestine car meeting, the cougar admits that she never would have kissed Jake if she had known he was in high school. She takes the stance that it’s wrong—until, that is, she finds out he’s eighteen. Then they hook up in the car. Bad idea.

“Jesus Says You’re Welcome”

Lissa and Tyler are assigned to guard the Hell Tent, a religious haunted house that depicts the fates of sinners in order to scare people straight. When Lissa’s mom sees them together, she makes them perform in the Hell Tent as Lust. Tyler is shirtless while Lissa wears a “Whore of Babylon” sign.

Sadie is playing the part of Jesus. She takes her job seriously: “Don’t swear, don’t drink, and never ever wear those horrific outfits in my presence ever again. Jesus says you’re welcome.” She doles out some knowledge to Lissa as well, informing her that her mom is doing this because she’s mad about Lissa and Tyler.

Lissa’s parents catch her and Tyler kissing again, this time leveling the threat of boarding school on her. “That’s fine! It’s better than living a lie!” Lissa says, issuing a little dig at her dad’s closeted existence. Her dad admits that the Devil has cursed him with an interest in men. He’s going to a camp full of other men like him to rid himself of these shameful urges. Sure.

Zen Jenna is the Best Jenna

The author is the person to help soothe Jenna’s frazzled nerves. She can turn that pain into writing! She better get used to rejection if she’s going to be a professional writer anyway. The Parents Hamilton are in the midst of bitching out the SCU admissions office when Jenna stops them. She takes the blame for the rejection—she had a horrible junior year and didn’t have any extracurricular activities until senior year. She reiterates the writer’s point about writers and their required ability to take rejection.

Jenna apologizes to Owen for her earlier freak out and he takes it in stride. He advises that she not let the SCU admissions office ruin her whole day: “I’m not going to stop going after what I want, so you shouldn’t either.” His belief in her feels good—really good. Cue make out.

Episode Rating: 8/10