The Guest Book 1×09 Review: “Story Nine”

The last few episodes of The Guest Book have moved away from wacky and become very dark and twisted. It’s safe to say that “Story Nine” was no different.

Jacob is an Amish boy on his Rumspringa. His first stop is at his cousin’s punk-rock party where, alone in a room, he takes the revolver his father gave him and plays his own version of spin the bottle. This is his technique to figure out what God wants him to do.

Apparently, God wanted Jacob to watch 8 Mile where he got aroused by Brittany Murphy. That’s when he realized God wants him to find and marry her. Quickly, Jacob learns that Brittany is dead, so what does he do? He heads for Froggy Cottage in “God’s Country” to speak to the big man himself.

The boy hilariously had a “Hello God, it’s me Margaret” moment trying to find God in the cottage. When God didn’t answer, Jacob spun the gun for answers. When it pointed to him, Jacob took it as God wanting him to commit suicide.

Thankfully, his father was smart enough to empty the bullets in the gun but that doesn’t stop Jacob. After various attempts, Jacob’s last-ditch effort was to hang himself, but ended up only breaking his foot. But that’s what Jacob needed.

After Dr. Andrew and Officer Kimberly found Jacob writhing in pain, they got him some help. High on Hydrocodone at the cabin, Jacob sees Marsha Brady on TV and realizes that his suicide failed because God wanted him to be with Marsha on Earth and not Brittany in the afterlife. So he set off to California where he would find the love of his life or, to his dismay, Maureen McCormick.

Jacob’s story has a happy ending while Tickles does not. The best part of “Story Nine” was when Tickles got shot with an arrow through her breast. Dr. Andrew saw Tickles attempting to kill Wilfred, the cottage owner, after he destroyed her blackmail tape. To stop her, Dr. Andrew shoots an arrow through her breast and then Wilfred knocks her out cold. All of this is happening outside the cottage while Wilfred’s wife is cleaning up inside. Once she leaves, they quickly move Tickles practically lifeless body through the back door to hide her.

In the finale of The Guest Book, we will learn the fate of Tickles while also centering the story around the other townspeople. This will be a nice change, since they have been background characters in the other episodes. While Tickles does initially survive the arrow, only time will tell if she lives because with Greg Garcia, you never know how dark and twisty it will get.