6. Harvey Corman drinking out of his head
In the Mos Eisley segment, Bea Arthur is being courted by a creepy suitor who won’t take no for answer. He tries to give her flowers, grab her from behind, and persuade her with his “romantic” confessions. Even though he looks just like a human, he pours his drink in a hole on his head, indicating that he is actually an alien. It’s never explained why he has to drink through a hole in his head instead of his mouth, but you spend more time being disgusted than actually caring.
5. Life Day Celebration
This whole Holiday special was centered around the Wookiees’ national holiday called “Life Day.” They never give us any details about the holiday is actually about, but it’s safe to assume it’s their version of Christmas. For 80 minutes, this special day is built up and in the end, it just looks like a creepy cult meeting. Now, the Wookiee race and their home, Kashyyyk, were always a mysterious sort because we only had Chewie to look at. At the end of the special, they’re holding some sort of orb and float up to the stars. Then, they all walk towards a planet as if they are sacrificing themselves. If you’re going to show this strange holiday taking place, at least tell the audience what is happening.
4. The Animated Segment
The only segment that seems to have passion instilled, the animated segment features Luke and Leia (drawn like Beavis and Butthead cartoons) trying to find the Millenium Falcon after receiving a mysterious message from Han. There’s a mysterious sleeping virus and Boba Fett’s first ever introduction. If there’s any reason for this show to exist in canon, it’s to insure that Boba Fett stays in the universe.
3. The Cooking Show
With the big celebration coming up, Malla wants to make sure that she cooks the perfect dinner for her family. She turns on a cooking show where Korman (dressed in drag AND blackface) is demonstrating how to cook Bantha soup. This isn’t simply a quick look at Wookiee’s taste of television programming; we are literally watching the whole meal being made. And along with that, Korman sings an obnoxious sing called “Whip, Beat, Stir!” to make cooking even more entertaining! It quickly turned into one of those creepy children’s shows.
2. The Circus Hologram
In the first ten minutes of the special, we already sense CBS’s stalling. When introducing Chewie’s family, his son, Lumpy, goes to enjoy a holographic show. At first, the audience thinks that this is an allusion to Chewbacca’s chess set, but it’s only a boring circus performance. We see (human) acrobats doing flips and dances accompanied by traditional circus music. The show doesn’t have any Star Wars elements to it and feels like the Cirque de Soleil channel than anything else. It may have been fun for little kids to look at, but it took away precious runtime. The acrobatics should have been the clue that this special was going to be horrible.
1. Leia Singing the Star Wars Theme
Carrie Fisher loves to talk about how high she was when making the Holiday special. Taking that into account, it’s hilarious to watch Leia sing a song commemorating Life Day (played to the tune of the Star wars theme). This is the shortest of the musical numbers and features Hamill and Harrison Ford’s hilariously disinterested faces. Even though the song itself is cringe inducing, it signifies the end of this horrible garbage fire.