Previouslies! Jenna gets suspended for smoking up at school. Jenna writes vicious essay attacking Val to be published in the school’s lit journal. Colin hooks up with his ex-girlfriend, while Matty continues to be an angel and rescues Jenna. You know, the new usual.
It’s the harsh light of day, and Jenna slept outside her house. The discovery of Colin’s doucheocity slammed the reality into her—she’s hit rock bottom and needs to do something about it. She’s in the middle of bribing the parents with breakfast when Hot Dad metaphorically slaps her with a bill for living expenses. He benevolently knocks $20 off for her sleeping outside—“I may be your landlord, but I’m not heartless.”
Tamara’s campaigning for class president! After a visit from the groveling Jenna, my girl T deals with her boyfriend’s comments: “You proved your point. This is hilarious and adorable, but it’s time to cut it out.” Hey Jake, that “adorable” was pretty condescending.
Jenna’s determined to pull her Val essay from the literary magazine. Mr. Hart is absent, but the principal reveals a stack of already printed literary magazines! Oops. It’s time for Jenna to face Val and warn her of the oncoming shitstorm.
Ma Lacey meets with Val for advice on getting a life. Val takes this to mean that the two of them are running away, Thelma and Louise-style (I would SO WATCH)—unfortunately, Ma Lacey really just meant she needed a job. After checking that Ma Lacey has the ability to “dial 9-1-1-1” and can handle an ice pack even if it’s really cold, Val hires her as the school nurse. “I already own a nurse’s outfit!” Ma Lacey says excitedly. Val crushes her excitement with, “Crotchless doesn’t count.”
Jenna joins Matty for lunch. Devon is noticeably absent and quite angry with him for leaving her to pick up Jenna the night before. “Enough drama, I think I need to take a break,” he explains, asking for advice. Impressively enough, Jenna takes a moment and recognizes that her gut reaction is a selfish one. Instead of advising a breakup, she tells him to give Devon a minute—in her situation, Jenna would be pissed too.
Tamara begins to panic about her campaign, so she invokes cheer sisterdom and asks Sadie to promote her on Twitter. Sadie will do it—if Tamara pays her $500, which is the amount she received for promoting a banana slicer. Tamara unfortunately cannot afford this. Also, I hope Sadie’s twitter sticks around as a running bit. Ming lined up the Asian mafia for instruction (mostly to ditch their Jake support shirts). The mafia isn’t pleased with their public activities and mishandled cheat sheets. I’m sensing a dissent/overthrow storyline in the works!
Colin confronts Jenna, asking why she’s giving him the cold shoulder. Jenna rattles off her complaints, including Angelique slipping her X, Colin hooking up with her in front of Jenna, and him trying to pull her into a threesome. In their conversation, Jenna realizes that Colin never stopped sleeping with Angelique—they’ve been hooking up the whole time she’s been with Colin. Gee, I never saw that coming. Colin doesn’t think she should be upset; he was under the impression that they were in a pretty obviously open relationship. Jenna freaks—she destroyed friendships, wrecked her relationship with her parents, and publicly eviscerated Val, all in the name of dating him. Colin counters, “Those were all your decisions—they are all on you.” Important and very true point, but I still think he’s a douchehole. Jenna leaves him with, “Being an asshole is on YOU.” Colin may have had a point about Jenna’s decisions, but the “obviously open relationship” bit is a dubious claim, especially when he was shady about having sex with Angelique the whole time.
Tamara’s and Jake’s presidential speeches dissolved into a debate. Jake utters the words, “How do you expect us to take you seriously when you use a glitter pen?” which I found to also be really condescending. Jake, you’re on notice.
Jenna runs into Tamara in the bathroom and hugs her since she couldn’t help herself. Oh, Jenna. This complete 180 is kind of sad and way too quick. Tamara is more concerned with her fight with Jake, but manages to sting Jenna a bit. Tamara meets Jenna’s hug with, “Have you seen Ming? I really need a friend right now.” Jenna looks hurt and a little surprised. Really Jenna? You were a dick to everyone and have yet to apologize—do you think everyone is just going to welcome you back because you deign to show up? All right, I’m done for now. Oh, and to really put the icing on the cake, Val has been indefinitely suspended thanks to Jenna’s essay.
Jake is furious that Tamara won the presidency just to prove her point. He breaks up with her, declaring, “You had to put me in my place, now I’ll put you in yours. We’re done.” Thus ends Jakeara. For now, at least.
Jenna decides that there’s no reason in trying to right her wrongs (is that what she was doing this episode?)—she needs to start putting words where her actions failed. She delivers a tearful apology to Ma Lacey, who welcomes it with a hug.
Next week: St. Matty’s Day Party! Not only is Jenna invited, he actually wants to hang out with her. Oh Matty. You’re an angel.