“Another year we’re not going to be cheerleaders,” Riley laments as she and Maya meander across the subway platform, rocking appropriate outfits. “Why do you make me do these things? Pom poms are stupid, and pyramids made of humans freak me out,” Maya says. Maya’s compliance with Riley’s wishes continues to be a good demonstration of their friendship; she’s always honest about her distaste, but still supports her best friend. Their relationship is still the strongest element on the show. In order to hide her super white legs, Maya decides they have to go to Demolition, which sounds like a combination of Rainbow and Hot Topic. Riley’s 7 o’clock curfew is in fifteen minutes, but Riley decides to break it. “It’s time I was treated like the woman I am!” she declares.
The Apartment Matthews: Auggie needs to pick a babysitter so his parents can go out for their anniversary. “Why do you have to go anywhere? Aren’t you happy with me?” he asks sadly. Topanga isn’t buying and tells him to cut it out. Auggie snaps out of his sad little boy routine, allotting his parents three hours and demanding an Auggie bag.
Riley bursts in the door seven minutes past curfew, demanding that her parents deal with their baaaad girl. Topanga and Cory burst out laughing. “Your father and I gave you a 7 p.m. curfew because we knew that even when you got all rebellious, you’d still be home by 7:30,” Topanga explains. “Maya, you couldn’t even keep her later than that? What kind of bad influence are you?” Cory asks, laughing. Effectively baited, Maya decides she needs to up her game. “This will look great in my room,” she says as she steals one of their throw pillows and shows herself out.
Auggie has a solution for everyone’s problems: why isn’t Riley his babysitter? Before Cory and Topanga leave for their hipster dinner, horse drawn carriage ride, play, and jazz night at Mudbone, they have a lesson for their only daughter and newly hired babysitter. Cory presents Riley with an egg, which she immediately names Amanda McScrambleface. Riley thinks this is the usual health class baby experiment, but her parents have a surprise in store. They make her detail Amanda’s personality and plans for the future before Topanga grabs the egg and slams it down on the coffee table. Riley is visibly upset. “This is an egg you knew for a minute. Take care of our child,” Cory instructs. Points for originality, Parents Matthews.
Maya arrives after the parents leave, just in time for her and Riley to begin the Red Planet Diaries season finale. Auggie is upset that Maya is crashing sibling night, proven by his ripping down the “Auggie & Riley’s Pirate Aventure Bes Nite Ever” sign in his room. He turns off the TV and threatens to toss the remote out the window.
Meanwhile, Cory and Topanga’s anniversary plans are being foiled by train problems. Instead of being upset, they take us through several Boy Meets World memories, taking us through big moments in their relationship. Cory proposes to Topanga (again) with a ring pop. They’re extremely happy but they miss the kids—time to go home and spy on them!
Auggie has declared this night the worst night ever, but Cory and Topanga ask him to give his sister a chance to fix it. Riley is complaining about Auggie ruining her night, but Maya points out that Auggie could say the same for her. Riley and Maya do an impressive job of turning Auggie’s room into a pirate ship with Maya as the pirate Blondebeard. Auggie reclaims Riley as his sister.
In the morning, to Riley’s abject horror, Cory has made scrambled eggs. She tells the story of the entire McScrambleface clan until her family is so guilted, they go out for pancakes instead. Cory brought that upon himself.