We’ll be counting down to Halloween with a new post each day about our personal favorite Halloween-inspired and horror movies. To read our past lead up to Halloween coverage, click here.
I have a very complicated relationship with horror movies. Most of them don’t scare me or I find them more laughable than horrifying. Maybe, like many people, I am far more rational than I need to be for these kinds of movies to be effective. The Strangers is one of those films that is scary because it defies rationality. I’m not just talking about some of the many idiotic things the characters do, but how the villains are the embodiment of chaos. They chose their target just because they were home. This seems real to me and it is one of the most terrifying things you can imagine because unlike possessed dolls or ghosts, there are no signs that this is coming. I’ve only seen The Strangers once in my life, but there are just a few of the thoughts I had watching it again recently
40 Thoughts I Had While Watching The Strangers
- I’m realizing that I would be a terrible 911 operator. I would NOT put up with someone continually saying, “Oh my god, there’s blood on the walls!” and not answering my question. Rude!
- You know you’re rich when you can light a cigarette, take half a puff, and then throw it away. This would inspire a murderous rage in all of my smoker friends if they were to witness something like this. That student loan struggle is real.
- Why do people mutilate and dismember roses and then toss their remains around as a romantic gesture? If I wanted a trail of death it should at least be bacon.
- The way she reacts to getting proposed to is how I react every time I accidentally make eye contact with another guy at the urinals.
- Finally, a great example of how to eat an entire carton of ice cream. Your start around the rim and then make your way to the center. Remember, it’s a marathon, not a race.
- Nothing is worse than having to spend the night with the person who just rejected your marriage proposal… or so he thought.
- She keeps apologizing for rejecting him like it was her fault. Why do people just surprise other people with proposals? There’s a 50% chance the answer won’t be favorable.
- Probably the most unrealistic part of the film was when they stopped mid-coitus to answer a knock at the door.
- Who answers the door at 4 AM and doesn’t expect to get murdered?
- She out of cigarettes now. I fucking wonder why?
- Why does no one ever pay attention to the ominous and foreboding music they have on in the background? Does it literally need to say, “Girl, you’re going to die soon unless you run now!” before people acknowledge it?
- Five loud, unexplained sounds later and she still hasn’t grabbed a weapon. At that point, I would have been Home Alone-ing the house just in case.
- Well, I lied. She just went to grab her dead flip phone. Those phones were basically bricks with bad reception, so I guess it counts as a weapon.
- I want to be on just a fraction of the amount of Xanax her character is on.
- So far she has destroyed way more property than the strangers. If anything, they were nice enough to pick up the smoke detector from the floor. She being a terrible host.
- Every time someone disappears after being there just a second ago, I imagine them running running for cover while their arms are flailing like Kermit the frog.
- How does he not know how to load a gun? I’ve never handled a gun, but I’ve seen enough action films to know how to at least do that.
- Are those shotgun shells in your pocket or are you happy to see me?
- Oh! It’s Dennis from Always Sunny! Is this a Halloween episode? I knew that was Dee, Charlie and Mac in the masks.
- Not Dennis’ face! That’s his second best feature!
- Well this film just turned into a PSA about gun control.
- This is where the trope of white people suggesting they separate comes into play.
- I was wondering why they didn’t try just running away at any point. She answered that by falling almost immediately after starting to run. Even gravity is against her.
- In a barn full of potential weapons, let me grab this flashlight.
- Why does she keep opening doors and leaving rooms as if the home intruders just magically disappeared?
- If torturing strangers doesn’t work out for the villains, they look like they could have a good career making death metal. This scene with the 3 of them together could be their album cover.
- Oh, and their first single could be called “Because You Were Home.”
- They focused on her wearing the wedding ring as if she were just now saying yes. Too bad the “Til death do you part” looks like it’s going to happen soon. This is the shortest marriage since Kim Kardashian’s previous one.
- All of their masks have smiles on them, but I don’t think they’re actually smiling. That’s like when you send an “LOL” but you really just have resting bitch face.
- I feel like the guy wearing a mask actually forgot his and had to improvise with a sack her found in his car.
- She’s still begging for her life, but the guy just wants it over with so he doesn’t have to keep listening to her crying.
- OMG, I think she spent the entire film, from beginning to end, in tears! She must be dehydrated.
- The women in the mask just stabbed him in his heart. Too bad his girlfriend already did that to him at the beginning of the film.
- The family that slays together, stays together.
- Jesus! How are these Jehovah’s Witnesses unphased by the dead bodies everywhere? Is that part of the training when you go door to door?!
- She came back from the dead! These religious boys are probably just thinking, “Meh. I read a book about a guy who did that too. Want to hear about it?”
- She is still alive and she saw their faces, which means there is always the possibility of a sequel where she hunts them down, Liam Neeson-style.
- Instead of The Strangers, the sequel will be called The Old Acquaintances
- Wait, who was the person that called this in to 911? Why didn’t the boys call the police?
- You know this family went to breakfast right after and ordered Bloody Marys and are complaining about the long night they had.
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